Breaking The Habit
by AgtBauer24
Summary: PreSeason 3 after the Salazars. A fic about Jack trying to quit his drug addiction. Was a song fic, updated without the lyrics.


Rating: PG-13 for drug mentioning.

Disclaimer: I do not own "24" or the song Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park

Author's Note: My first fanfic for "24". This is a one-shot. Pre-Season 3, after the Salazar mission. Was supposedly a song fic, that's where the title Breaking the Habit comes from, the song Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park.

**Breaking the Habit**

Jack sat in his study. He was home, all alone. He didn't bother to show up CTU. He wasn't in the mood to. He stared at his papers. He was tired and the words didn't make sense to him. They were just blurs, grey clouds on the paper. It was still morning, ten o' clock but in Jack's dim lighted study, it was like midnight. That's when the withdrawal kicked in. Jack began to lose his concentration, the blurry words turned more blurry, they weren't even words anymore; just streaks of grey. Sweat began to pour.

Jack held his head with both hands, his elbows pressed hard against the desk; his hands messing up his already messed up blond hair. Jack tried to suppress the desire for heroin but his desire was too much. Jack gasped for air as his body became desperate.

Jack smashed his fist on the desk and with a swift motion brushed all the papers off his desk. The papers flew everywhere floating to the floor like a feather. Jack clenched his teeth together tightly to suppress his desire. He didn't want to give in. He wanted to quit. He flung his hands again clearing the table of all his folders. Papers flew out of the folders; the whole room was a snowfield of papers. Jack screamed as he cleared his desk of more papers.

Jack tried to clam down. He settled down in his chair once again and held his head in his hands, groaning in despair. His hands clenched tightly around his hair. He couldn't give in, and he wasn't about to.

"No." He gasped.

Jack pulled open a drawer in his desk and pulled out a wooden box. He opened the box and pulled out a black case, his hands trembling. He unzipped the case. Inside was the only thing he needed. He quickly applied a tourniquet; with trembling hands he loaded a syringe with the substance. He placed the point of the syringe to his arm with regret. He was about to stab himself once more.

No. That was what his mind was telling him. Yes. That was what his body was telling him. He didn't want to stick the needle in his arm. Come on, Jack. You need it. That was what his body was telling him. Don't do it. Don't do it, you need to stop for the sake of Kim. The Salazars are gone now Jack. Don't torture yourself more than you have to. That was what his mind was telling him.

Then, the phone rang. Jack was broken from his thoughts. He stared at the phone, waiting for the answering machine to kick in. After several rings, he heard his voice on the answering machine.

"Jack? Jack? You there? It's Tony, if you're there Jack, pick up." The answering machine said.

Jack ignored it. Tony probably just wanted to know why Jack didn't show up today. He waited until Tony hung up. When Tony finally hung up, he brought his attention to the cold needle touching his skin waiting to pierce it. The needle was cold, as cold as he was. He was cold from the desire of wanting the substance within the syringe. Then, his mind and body started debating again over the needle but it was interrupted by another phone call.

Jack bought his attention to the phone and waited for the answering machine to answer.

"Dad?" A familiar voice said over the answering machine. It was Kim. "Dad, you didn't show up at work today. I'm wondering if you're okay. Please pick up the phone. I know you're there. Please call back."

Kim. It was the only thing that kept Jack alive. It was one of Jack's reasons to quit. That's right Jack, what's Kim going to think when she finds out? She's going to think you're doing this because you lost her mom. She's beginning to forgive you for Teri's death and now you're not going to quit after the Salazars? She's not going to forgive you for doing this, not for a long time. His conscience told him.

"No." Jack gasped.

He wasn't going to back down from quitting now. His conscience was right. He couldn't continue this. The Salazars are over. He took the cold metal of the needle away from his arm and released every drop into his wastebasket. He flung the syringe all the way across the room. It landed somewhere in the corner, somewhere where neither him nor Kim was going to find it. He ripped off the tourniquet disdainfully and stuffed it back in the black case along with the empty tube of heroin. He put back the case into the wooden box and shoved the box right into the drawer where it belonged. Jack slammed the drawer back into the desk. The loud slam made by the drawer echoed through the silent room. That sound sealed Jack's decision. He was going to quit and none of that stuff was ever going to enter him again.

Jack eased back in his chair, relaxing his back against his chair. He leaned back his head and closed his eyes. He was going to stick to his decision. He opened his eyes once more, tears leaked from his eyes as he pulled out the picture of him, Teri, and Kim. He stared at the picture as more tears came out.

"I'm so sorry." Jack muttered.

He remembered when he first started using the heroin to get ready for the Salazars. At first, it gave him the false impression that everything just became fine and all his troubles were gone. But he knew it was all wrong. He remembered promising Teri that he was never going to do any drugs even if it was for an important mission just for the sake of Kim. And he broke it.

Jack replaced the picture back into the desk. He looked all around the room. The floor was covered with white, covered with papers. He wiped away the water streaming down his face with the back of his hand. He got off the chair and began the long process of putting back all the papers where they belonged.

"I'm not going to torture myself more than I have to. I'm going to quit." Jack said to himself.


End file.
